Ok I'm usually a very nice guy :) No really. I'm quite calm and good under pressure... but when I get on with tech support sometimes I just want to scream.
So I, like most xbox lovers, went out an bought a 360! pre-ordered it last July and got it this January. I was loving life. Some game are good, graphics are awesome, etc. But my first xbox 360 (yes I said first) wouldnt connect to my network (so no xbox live!). Below is listed the highlights of my 6+ hours of calls with support:
Xbox Support Guy: “Duane, I’ve found your problem. You told me you had a CAT-5 cable plugged into the back of the XBOX. We do not support that. You need to plug in EITHER an Rj-45 cable OR and Ethernet cable and that will work”
I then explained how networking works to this guy and what all those terms he was using meant so he would know for the future.
Or this
Xbox Support Guy: “Sir I know why you aren’t getting an IP address on your xbox. You need to open up your firewall ports and that should work”
Duane: “Are you sure you know what a firewall is? Let me help you out. A firewall is all about blocking access from the internet back to my resources inside my network. Now my firewall acts as a DHCP server and gives out IP addresses. I don’t seem to have an IP address because the link light on the xbox network adapter isn’t lit… Make sense?”
Xbox Support Guy: “Sir I thought you weren’t using the wireless network adapter”
Duane: “Where in my last statement did you hear me utter the phrase “Wireless Network Adapter”?”
Xbox Support Guy: “So do you need me to walk you through opening your firewall ports?”
Or this
Xbox Support Guy: “I would like it if I could test not using the network jack.. but using the USB network jack in the back of the XBOX. Can you plug a USB cable into the back of the xbox and then into the back of your cable modem”
Duane: “That is a great idea but my cable modem is 60 feet from my xbox so I don’t have a usb cable long enough”
Xbox Support Guy: “Can you move your xbox”
Duane: “Another wonderful idea I sure can! But then what will I actually be watching when I turn on the xbox as now my TV will be 60 feet away from my xbox”
Xbox Support Guy: “Can you move your TV to your xbox and cable modem?”
Duane: “I have a 36” WEGA TV. Its about 280lbs. No I cant move it”
Xbox Support Guy: “Do you have a smaller TV?”
Duane: “Sure I do I have this wonderful 10” TV just sitting on the table next to me ready to move to my cable modem and xbox I figured that when you asked me to move my TV you obviously wanted me to move the heaviest f’ing TV I own…”
<Silence>
Duane: “No I don’t have another TV.”
I love support. So I get home tonight and decide I was going to call xbox support (for the third time) and this is how it goes.... (I'm writing this as its happening on support phone call right now!!)
Xbox Support "So when you plug in your xbox to your pc do you see a pc light?"
Me: "Do you mean when I plug in my xbox into the modem do I see a link light?"
Xbox Support: "Yeah! Thats it. Do you?"
Me: "No I dont. When I plug in my laptop I see the link light but when I plug the xbox in no link light"
Me: "And I've also tried three different Ethernet cables and those dont work either"
Xbox Support: "Which three did you try?"
Me (after a pause): "I tried that blue one, a short red one, and a kinda purpleish one"
Xbox Support: "Let me check to see if those are supported and will work"
Me... waiting....
Xbox Support: "Ok Sir goto the network settings on your xbox"
Me: "Ok"
Xbox Support: "Do you see the link light there"
Me: "yes"
Xbox Support: "Its should be solid green" <-- I can tell she is reading out of a step by step "how to diagnose the xbox" book
Me: "Its not its red"
Xbox Support: "Well thats your problem right there"
Me: "What the fact that I dont have a connection to my cable modem?"
Xbox Support: "No that your link light is red and it should be green"
Me: *Sigh*
Xbox Support: "Sir can you look at the A C T light. It should flash yellow when data is going over the wire. Is it flashing yellow"
Me: "No the activity light is not flashing"
Xbox Support" "The A C T light is not flashing?"
Me: "No.."
Xbox Support: "Well thats weird. It says here it should be flashing"
Me: "Its not flashing cause I have no link light..."
Xbox Support: "Can you check the wire for physical damage?"
Me: "Which one of the three different cables that I've tried did you want me to check"
Xbox support: "Ummm.... The one plugged in I think " <-- smartest thing she said all night
Me: "Nope looks great"
Xbox Support: "Oh good cause I would have had to ask you to try another cable if you had one"
Me waiting for her to comprehend what she just said...
Xbox Support: "Oohh wait you said you had three cables right"
*sigh*
Finally the manager gets on and says...
"Sir I see you've been on calls with support for many hours over the last few weeks. I really apologize. I think we have enough data here to decide you have a bad network jack. I'm going to authorize the repair, I will have all the supplies over nighted to you so we can get you back up and running quickly as you have been down for soo long. I apologize for the time it took and the run around you were getting. Thank you very much."
Me: "I love you mr. supervisor man"
Soooo I get my SECOND xbox 360 and after a week of play now when I turn it on I get just a series of flashing red lights :( Nothing else, no video no game play no nothing just three damn red lights on the front of my "refurbished" xbox 360. Soo I call support... AGAIN..
XBOX Support: "Can you turn the unit off"
Me: "Sure"
XBOX Support: "OK turn it back on... Whats it doing?"
Me: "Flashing three red lights"
Xbox Support: "Ok can you turn it off and unplug it"
Me: *sigh* "Sure"
Xbox Support: "OK turn it back on... Whats it doing?"
Me: "Flashing three red lights"
Xbox Support: "Ok can you turn it off and take out the hard drive"
Me: *sigh* "Sure"
Xbox Support: "OK turn it back on... Whats it doing?"
Me: "Flashing three red lights"
Xbox Support: "Does it always flash three red lights?"
Me: "No if I turn it on and off like 100 times it sometimes fires up"
Xbox Support: "Ok here is a ref#. Can you play with the xbox for a few days to see if the problem resolves. If not call us and we can replace it again"
Me: "By "Play with it" you mean turn it on, watch the three red lights, turn it off, and turn it back on to watch the three red lights again?"
Xbox Support: "Yes sir."
***** So I called back a few days later ******
Xbox Support: "Still red lights... ok we will have to send your xbox back for repair."
Me: "Does it matter that this is now my second xbox I'm getting repaired? can we expedite it?"
Xbox Support: "No it doesnt matter. We will send you a box, it will get there in 3 days, you will send it back to us, we will get it in 3 days, it will take 8 days to "fix it" (just sending me a refurb) and then 3 days back to you"..
Soo long story short.. I'm still waiting for my xbox... again...
Duane Laflotte
http://www.cyberspacesamurai.com